Attack of the Three-Headed Terror

Prologue: What happens when the people speak, but don't really say anything?

It leaves the powers that be in a very odd situation, as they tend to lose control. With such a gap in power, it appeared that a three-headed creature would seize the reigns, however one man had to appeal to a higher power to delay the onslaught and hold on.



After over two-years of a reasonably successful Minority Government, Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, began to make claims that Parliament had become dysfunctional, and an election was needed. On September 7, Stephen Harper went to Governor General Michelle Jean, and requested the dissolution of parliament. The Governor General complied, and we had an election on October 14.

To the surprise of nobody, the Conservatives won yet again, with another Minority Government. However, this time they had a larger seat total, garnering 143 seats. This compared to the 77 earned by the Liberals, 49 by the Bloc Quebecois, and 37 to the NDP (along with 2 Independents).

(Editorial Tangent: Now before we continue, we need to examine one of the central principals of a Parliamentary Democracy. The electorate (in theory) never vote for the Prime Minister, or even the political party. Technically you vote for the representative of your constituency, and it is up to those representatives (MPs) to chose the leader of their group. It just happens in practice that almost every politician is affiliated with a party, and each party has a leader who is understood to become Prime Minister in the event of a victory for their party.)

Before Parliament had even sat, the Finance Minister, Jim Flaherty delivered his fiscal update, which is essentially a mini-budget. This update was quickly, and vehemently panned by the three opposition parties. With three main points of contention: a lack of an economic stimulus plan to prevent recession, removal of civil servants right to strike, and the removal of subsidies for political parties. The last being the most crucial, as it would essentially bankrupt all three opposition parties at once.

(Editorial Tangent #2: While it is by no means required, it is expected that the political parties cooperate and compromise in the event of a Minority Government. After all, if the will of the populace is divided, then surely the actions of the government are expected to reflect this.)

This sent all three parties, and much of the population, into an incendiary rage. However, the only way to stop this was to table a Non-Confidence motion, and therefore trigger yet another election. Since this was something that nobody wanted, especially the Liberals who had delivered perhaps their poorest electoral showing in history.

As a result, something daring was proposed, a change in government without an election.

After a series of talks, it was announced that the Liberals and NDP would form a coalition, lasting until June 30, 2011. They would place the Liberal leader as Prime Minister, and create a cabinet of 23 other ministers, including 6 NDPs. However, with a quick amount of math you can notice that the 114 seats that the two parties have combined is not enough, so they needed a little bit more support. They then formed an agreement with the Bloc Quebecois to support the coalition until June 30, 2010.

This prompted Stephen Harper and the Conservatives to launch a full scale media blitz, calling the coalition ruthlessly undemocratic, even addressing the nation on prime time. There were two central arguments against the coalition: the widely unpopular Stephane Dion would be Prime Minster, and that it required the support of the Bloc Quebecois.

This sparked a fervour and debate across the country as rallies were held on both sides of the argument. Something that has not been seen in Canada since the Meech Lake and Charlottetown Accords over a decade and a half ago.

Stephen Harper made an unprecedented request to the Governor General to prorogue parliament. She complied, and delayed the Parliament to January 26th (From December 8th) in a wildly debated move. Normally prorogation is reserved for genuine national emergencies, such as war or natural disasters, and has never been used for political emergencies.

In a snap move, Stephane Dion then announced that he would step down as Liberal (and coalition) leader, and Michael Ignatieff was quickly selected as his replacement. Ignatieff has softened talks of a coalition, but by no means has stated that he will comply with the Conservatives.

However, we will have to wait until the 26th to find out what will happen, and that, my friends, is something that we will be discussing in our 2009 year in review.


Epilogue: While the government has not been seated, the Canadian economy continues to suffer, the 100th Canadian solider died in Afghanistan, one of the worst winters in memory started to take place, and nothing is being done to remedy either of those situations.

Somehow claims by the government of having the best interest of the people in mind are not being debated.

Until next time,

G

Achieved Year in Review Posts:

The Fall of the Prophet - January 6th
The Rise of the Ice Queen -January 7th
An Unlikely Fruition - January 7th
Attack of the Three-Headed Terror - January 9th
A Most Sincere Inquiry - January 10th
The Golden League - January 14th
The Fall from Grace - January 16th
The Eighth Layer of Injustice - January 16th
The Transmuter of Nations - January 22nd

An Unlikely Fruition

Prologue: Back in a distant time, a man made an extraordinary claim. He said that he would bring freedom to a long oppressed land. As the years passed, people thought that this day of freedom would never arise. However, to the shock of many, freedom would come, and it would be just what the doctor ordered. People were bound to ask though, was it worth the wait?

In 1994, at the height of their popularity, Guns N' Roses front man, announced the name of their next album, Chinese Democracy. However, as delay upon delay came, and the band changed members repeatedly, it appeared as if we were going to see actual democracy in China before the album's release.

Years past, and the album became a punchline. With the Offspring even hinting at calling their album Chinese Democracy: You Snooze, You Lose in 2002, however they backed off for legal reasons. Even as early as this year, Dr. Pepper, made a (presumably) satirical offer to give one free can of Dr. Pepper to everyone in the United States if Chinese Democracy was released in 2008.

I am not if Axl Rose likes Dr. Pepper or not, but that seemed to motivate him. It was announced in the fall of 2008 that the album would be released in November. As is often the case in this digital age, the tracks of the album were leaked. However, in a stunning development, Axl Roses pursued legal measures against the bloggers who leaked the tracks, and so far one man, Kevin Cogill, has been sentenced to a year in prison as a result of the track leaking.

Much like Star Wars Episode I: Phantom Menace this album faced a near impossible volume of hype and expectations. When you keep people waiting for so long, you need to come to terms with the fact that it may be better in the minds of fans than in reality. However, unlike the first Star Wars prequel, Chinese Democracy did not make its creators any richer. The album boasted some very low sales, and in no way justified its $13, 000, 000 reported price tag.

Once more, it really just wasn't very good. Sure, it had its inspired moments, however, the chords are over produced, and the lyrics are under thought. Which hardly warrants the fourteen years that Axl Rose had to meditate on the subject.

If there is one thing that Chinese Democracy has proven, it is that good things do not always come to those who wait.

Embedded Video

Epilogue: Chinese Democracy sold only 261,000 units in the first week of sales, and the numbers sharply declined after wards. It ranked #12 on The Rolling Stones year end rank of albums, but #1 on IGN's Worst Album of 2008 list.

There have been no talks of releasing a new album.

Until next time,

G

Achieved Year in Review Posts:

The Fall of the Prophet - January 6th
The Rise of the Ice Queen -January 7th
An Unlikely Fruition - January 7th
Attack of the Three-Headed Terror - January 9th
A Most Sincere Inquiry - January 10th
The Golden League - January 14th
The Fall from Grace - January 16th
The Eighth Layer of Injustice - January 16th
The Transmuter of Nations - January 22nd

The Rise of the Ice Queen

Date: August 28, 2008

Prologue: Two men engage in a year long battle. One man, who continues to play by his own rules, gains momentum, but realizes that he is unable to achieve victory on his own. He summons a previously unknown maiden from the land of ice and snow, to aid him in his mission. Quickly though, this Ice Queen begins to overshadow the very man that she was supposed to assist, which puts things on an irreversible path.



August seems like a lifetime ago by now, doesn't it? In reality though it has only been a little over 4 months since John McCain introduced the world to Sarah Palin, and the course of the campaign changed in a matter of minutes.

Back in August, John McCain was taking a chip out of Obama's huge lead, with the extremely successful "World's Biggest Celebrity" advertisements. Obama had just made a safe albeit boring running mate selection of Joe Biden, which hardly set the world on fire. However, his convention came pretty close to (figuratively) setting things ablaze. It had the emotion of Hilary Clinton's speech, and the stunning visualization of Obama addressing 80, 000 people on a Denver night.

McCain knew that he needed to do something to both upstage Obama's running mate, and get peopel to stop talking about his acceptance speech. John McCain, ever the maverick, did not take such likely candidates as Pawlenty, Romney, or Liberman, instead he went with a much wilder pick that certain got people talking. He chose Alaska Governor, Sarah Palin.

At first, this was a huge success. People wondered who this young, unheralded, and attractive woman was. They saw her as a an excellent "outsider" both as a woman in a man's world, and as someone who has little connection in Washington. Also, people who had originally supported Hilary Clinton, seemed to flock towards Sarah Palin.

She became a huge star in no time.

And that was the biggest problem.

Everyone wanted to know more about this mysterious Palin. We had gotten two years to get to know Obama on a national stage, but had no idea who this woman was. Quickly, John McCain became an afterthought, as people began to flock towards his running mate.

Palin ralies became huge events, drawing massive crowds, while McCain's ralies had far smaller numbers.

And that was the next biggest problem.

Palin became in control of the campaign. McCain had pledged long and hard to run an honourable campaign, however, Palin made no such promises. She began to accuse Obama of "Pallin' around with terrorists", and an intense amount of hatred and blatant racism would begin to emerge at her rallies, as she began to fan the flames of hatred. Certainly not an honourable campaign that John McCain wanted.

Since Palin became an overnight sensation, the media wanted to get a hold of her for an interview.

And that was the next, next biggest problem.

She really had no idea how to handle any sort of questions. She was either completely unprepared or completely ignorant, or perhaps both. Take a look at the most infamous blunder of hers from an interview with Katie Couric.



Amazing eh?

Now that certainly is "gotcha" journalism, with that tricky Couric asking a hard question.

Other proud moments for Mrs. Palin, include her not understanding the Bush Doctrine, getting confused as to the role of the Vice President, and thinking that Africa is a country. Certainly something that someone who wants the second highest office in the land should know.

Also, a new sueprstar in politics, especially one with such gaping holes in her knowledge set, became excellent fodder for satire. Including this, perhaps the most memorable moment of the 2008 campaign.



After eight years, jokes at George W. Bush's expense were in need of freshening up, and thankfully, the Republicans came through yet again for us. Not only did 2008 give us a richer target for satire, it gave us a more polarizing character than we have seen in a very long time. Due to her age, and relative freshness on the national stage, this is one that will not be going away soon.

Epilogue: In the end, Palin became an absolute cancer to the McCain campaign. Five days before the election, almost 60% of Americans thought that she was unprepared for the job of Vice President (to say nothing about President), and over 40% had an unfavourable opinion of her.

In case you haven't heard, McCain-Palin were absolutely crushed in the election.

Sarah Palin is considered an early contender for the Republican nomination in 2012.

Until next time,

G

Achieved Year in Review Posts:

The Fall of the Prophet - January 6th
The Rise of the Ice Queen -January 7th
An Unlikely Fruition - January 7th
Attack of the Three-Headed Terror - January 9th
A Most Sincere Inquiry - January 10th
The Golden League - January 14th
The Fall from Grace - January 16th
The Eighth Layer of Injustice - January 16th
The Transmuter of Nations - January 22nd

The Fall of the Prophet

This is the start of my (belated) look back at 2008. I have plans for a number of posts to make an appearance here in the coming days, so please, continue to check back as I reflect on a number of things that made 2008 worthwhile.

Without further ado, here is the first installment in the "Adventures of 2008".

Date: February 3, 2008

Prologue: The unstoppable forces of evil go against the plucky underdog. Despite having a vastly superior force to anyone else in the world, they still resort to underhanded tactics to overcome their foes. Victory appeared so imminent that a group of giants seemed unable to keep these forces at bay. All seems lost for truth and justice, as the sinister brigade looks to cement their place in history, however, as is often the case, things do not go quite as they seem...





The New England Patriots finished the 2007 regular season in historic fashion. They defeated the New York Giants in a nail biter and ended the regular season at 16-0, something that no team had ever done before. During the first two rounds of the playoffs they steamrolled the competition, and prepared for a Superbowl showdown against the very same Giants that they had vanquished once before.

Despite their absolutely historic run (the Miami Dolphins had completed a perfect regular season in 1972, however, their regular season was only 14 games long, thus making this one arguably more impressive), the New England Patriots were not without their detractors. The most notorious of which was the infamous "Spygate" scandal. The New England Patriots were accused of filming a practice held by the New York Jets prior to their September 9th match-up, a game which the Patriots easily won.

After a series of investigations, the Patriots were fined and lost their first round draft pick due to breaking the NFL's rules. After this, a series of other accusations surfaced about Bill Bilichick taping a variety of other games, including the 2002 Superbowl, which the Patriots scored an unlikely upset over the vaunted St. Louis Rams.

Regardless of wether the Patriots cheated in any other game, it did not matter, doubt was cast upon their legacy and their quest for perfection. Even if they were to win the Superbowl, there would be a number of questions as to how many victories that they actually earned, and how many were gathered illegally. This caused a great deal of resentment against the New England Patriots, as even non-football fans were hoping for them to lose. Normally this kind of sporting animosity is only reserved for the New York Yankees, the Toronto Maple Leafs, the LA Lakers, and the US Olympic team. However, on this day, the Patriots entered the infamous club.

The game itself was a rather slow affair for the first three quarters. It looked like the Patriots offense was having a slow day, and their defense had to take over. The score was 7-3 for New England, heading into the fourth. The Giants scored an unlikey touchdown at the start of the quarter to make it 10-7, and then things got interesting.

Tom Brady, arguably one of the greatest quarterbacks of all-time, turned it up a notch, and lead to the Patriots getting another touchdown, to make it 14-10 with 2:42 left to play. It seemed like the inevitable was going to occur, and there would be 19-0 posters everywhere the next morning.

Then, this happened.




Watch that again if you have to, because it is simply one of the most amazing (and downright lucky) catches you will ever see.

A few drives later and the Giants scored another touchdown, making the score 17-14 with 35 seconds left. The Patriots attempted to move the ball down the field, and the unthinkable happened.

The clock ran out. The Patriots lost.

The Giants completed one of the greatest upsets in sporting history as they humbled the unbeatable juggernaut. Sports fans and casual viewers alike celebrated as the bad guys lost, and evil was vanquished for yet another day.


Epilogue: The New England Patriots, perhaps more motivated than ever, looked to start the 2008 season with a bang, and perhaps claim the Championship that they felt they deserved the year before. However, in an act that can only be described as karmic, star quarterback Tom Brady, suffered a knee injury during the first quarter of the first game. It would be both his first game of the season, and his last. As a result of losing their star, the Patriots failed to make the playoffs this past season, and will have to wait at least another season to win the one game that truly matters.

Until next time,

G

Achieved Year in Review Posts:

The Fall of the Prophet - January 6th
The Rise of the Ice Queen -January 7th
An Unlikely Fruition - January 7th
Attack of the Three-Headed Terror - January 9th
A Most Sincere Inquiry - January 10th
The Golden League - January 14th
The Fall from Grace - January 16th
The Eighth Layer of Injustice - January 16th
The Transmuter of Nations - January 22nd

A Series of Unfortunate Events -- Christmas 2008 Edition

Prelude – The Best Laid Plans

The following is a special joint blog from Glen and Elvina outlining some of the perils and pitfalls of their travel to Vietnam and Cambodia over Christmas. Before reading, be clear of one thing. Despite the number of setbacks along the way, this has been an excellent trip so far, and both of us would fully recommend a trip like this to anyone.

Glen’s Song: “Nowhere With You” – Joel Plaskett
Elvina’s Song: “Imitosis” – Andrew Bird

Glen: The plan was simple enough. Fly from Shanghai to Shenzhen, take a ferry to Macau, and overnight there. Afterwards, wake up very early and catch a cheap Viva Macau flight to Ho Chi Minh City. Hang out in Southern Vietnam for a few days before taking a riverboat up to Phnom Penh, Cambodia on the 24^th, and spend the rest of the Christmas holidays in Cambodia.

John Lennon once said, “Life is what happens when you are making other plans”, and let me tell you, we were in for a dose of life.

Elvina: Where oh where to begin? The few weeks leading up to holiday have been busy, busy, busy – as I moved into another apartment, wrote 18 student reports and pre-planned for our trip. The geek at heart still managed to find time to draft a chronological itinerary of our plans in a spreadsheet. With all the stress at home and at work, it was comforting to know that a great time was waiting as the light at the end of the tunnel.

Early on, we decided that since we’d be let out of school at noon on Friday the 19^th, we’d like to spend the night in Shanghai and fly out the next morning. We looked carefully at the Shanghai subway map and compared it to the addresses of hostels. We found and chose one that was within walking distance to the metro line that was two stops away from the Maglev to Shanghai Pudong airport, on the east side of the city.

Chapter 1 – The First of Many

Glen’ Song: “Escape is at Hand for the Traveling Man” – The Tragically Hip
Elvina’s Song: “Leaving On A Jet Plane” – Chantal Kreviazuk

Glen: It is worth noting at this point that we rejected a hostel that looked ideal, great rooms, good price, but it was in the wrong location. It was on the West Side of the city, and closer to Hongqiao airport. Yes, a city the size of a small country has two fairly large airports. Don’t forget that part.

Our night in Shanghai went without incident or omens. Nice dinner and drinks with good friends, many of who were heading across the Pacific Ocean for Christmas. We woke up the next morning and began making our way to Pudong Airport.

As we were crammed into the very congested Shanghai subway cars, a sudden realization came over me. I had forgotten my alarm clock in the hostel. I mentioned this, thinking that I would leave it. Really, I didn’t want to abandon my clock, since it was very handy to travel with, and I knew that we would need to wake up early the next morning to catch our flight out of Macau.

Looking at my watch, we decided that we had time to make a 10 minute backtrack to fetch my clock, while Elvina wait at the Maglev station to catch the super 430 km/h train to the Pudong airport.

Elvina: We were plenty good on time, so I wasn’t worried at all. We got off the very crowded train, crossed over and caught a similarly crowded train back to where we started. We decided I would stay on the platform with all of our bags while Glen make a quick run back to the hostel and fetch the alarm clock. There I waited, noting that the trains were coming every 5 minutes or so.

Glen comes back about 15 minutes later, explaining that getting the alarm clock was no problem at all but got held up trying to pay for the subway. Like most automated machines, the ones that sell tickets in the Shanghai metro prefer coins or near perfect bills. So Glen spent some time unsuccessfully feeding his non-perfect monetary note into several machines before someone eventually helped him out. And now we were on our way!

Glen: I’m sure at this point you may be getting bored of this, and wondering just what we are going to start complaining about. Well keep reading, because the first calamity occurred right after we got to Pudong.

We got to the airport with barely enough time. We knew that we had to hurry, so we quickly ran around the busy terminal and made our way to the Shezhen Airlines check in counter. We thought it odd that our flight was not listed, but thought little of it, and got in the line for a different flight offered by the airline, and assumed that they could sort us out.

After making our way to the front of the line, which is never an easy task in China, we presented our e-ticket to the woman behind the counter, and she looked very confused.

She spoke some incomprehensible words to Elvina. Clearly, my Chinese lessons were not progressing at light speed. I was more thankful than ever to be traveling with a fluent Mandarin speaker.

Elvina looked at me, laughed a bit and said, “We went to the wrong airport.”

I told you to not forget about the two airports. Clearly, I hadn’t given that same advice to myself.

Lucky for us, (Despite everything that we told you and are about to tell you, I am amazed at how many times that I start a sentence with that particular fragment) there were several flights a day to Shenzhen, and it only cost us around $40 each to change our flight to a later one. To help kill the time, we also had an hour-long bus ride to the other airport.

For the next several hours, both waiting in the airport, and en route, we would repeatedly laugh and say “We went to the wrong airport”, followed by “Rookie mistake!” Both Elvina and I have traveled a fair amount, and really should have known better.

We agreed that it was just a bit of overconfidence, and we would not make a careless oversight like that again for the rest of the trip. We were half right, but unfortunately, not the right half.

Elvina: We found this episode very funny, and our excitement was in no way deflated. We got on the bus to the correct airport and got all checked in once we were there. Waiting in line to go through security, we were fairly excited, being at the beginning of a great trip. I went through first, and as usual, made the metal detector go off. So while I’m standing up on the platform getting wanded, I notice Glen having some trouble at the desk where the security guard is sitting. I try to find out what’s going on but security just says he has to go back for something. Glen waves that everything is okay and he’ll meet me inside. Off I go, unclear of whether I should wait right there or go to the boarding gate. After some dilly-dallying and noticing that there are two security check points, I figure it’s best to go to the boarding gate. And yay, we found each other. Apparently part of his boarding pass had fallen off and he just had to go back for a new one. So we sit down with a big sigh of relief and Glen says to me that since these little bloopers happened to us early on, we were probably in for smooth sailing the rest of the trip.

Chapter 2 – Macanese Nights

Glen’s Song: “Pure Morning” – Placebo
Elvina’s Song: “Bottom of the Barrel” - Amos Lee

Glen: So, I was wrong about the smooth sailing bit, dead wrong.

Before I realized this, we got to Macau in need of a good nights sleep. Since, it was a Saturday, and the “Vegas of the East” is a bumping place on the weekends, it was hard to find a cheap place to stay. After doing a bit of research, we settled on what appeared to be a lovely and cheap place, pictured here.

Go ahead, take a few minutes to be captivated by the nice website. Don’t the rooms look great? Nice rooms, prime location, and cheap rates. What more could a traveler possibly ask for?

The truth.

After arriving at the place, we were shocked at what we saw on the website compared to what we saw in real life. Dirty is a word that gets thrown around so much that it tends to lose its meaning.

This place was freaking-filthy. The place looked like it belonged in a horror film. The narrow, I just imagined some hapless victim trying to run down the narrow and darkened stairs. A smell came over me, which I assumed was a cross between clogged sewage and dust from the 1960s. Brown water and tiny bugs came out of the tap when you turned it on, so needless to say, showering was out of the question.

Elvina: It was fairly easy to get from the Macau airport into the city. Taxis were waiting for us, without the need to haggle prices, as they ran the meter. The car doors were even automatic, the driver would push a button and the door would open for us. Armed with the address and directions that the hotel emailed us, and wanting to flex some Cantonese muscle, I showed/told the driver where we wanted to go. He was brought us where we needed to be and pointed into an alley that we’d need to walk into. He was funny, said he would take HK dollar, US dollar, Chinese Yuan, anything… so long as it was real.

We head into this alley and find the place up a narrow flight of stairs. I often judge things too soon, and have been working on that. So I told myself that it was an old building and would be better once we got there. We get the “front desk” and there is just an old man who only speaks Cantonese, none of the polite, English speaking staff that we had been in email contact with. He wants a printout of our booking, which I don’t have, and he proceeds to lecture me about not bringing it. He takes out a ratty old notebook marked in Chinese, numbers and letters. We see a GL and point at it, as our reservation. He keeps lecturing us, that without the printout, he really shouldn’t be giving us a room but since he has vacancies tonight, he will.

So he gives us a key and directs us to a room right near the desk. We unlock this room and just laugh. The walls don’t touch the ceiling so you are basically in a big cubicle. There is a sink in the corner of the room that looks as if it only dispenses rusty water, a fan, and some furniture from a yard sale.

We put our stuff down and go for a walk, trying to make the most of the Macau night. We had a nice stroll, after all. We get back to the hotel, knowing we have to leave at 4:30 anyway. I am scared of what I might catch in the bed, so I sleep in the clothes I’m wearing, not wanting to come in contact with much else. The alarm goes off and we get out of there pretty much right after.

Chapter 3 – Access Denied

Glen’s Song: “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” – The Clash
Elvina’s Song: “Help!” – The Beatles

Glen: We got to Ho Chi Minh City, and everything seemed to be going to plan. Our hotel was easy to find, and quite nice. We saw some museums, crawled in some tunnels, did some shopping and had a great time. But alas, this is a post about things not going well; so let me skip ahead to December 24^th.

After seeing some of the Mekong Delta, and staying at the border city of Chau Doc, the plan was to take a boat up the Mekong River into Cambodia. We even met this great other couple and discussed the possibility of going out for a Christmas dinner in Phnom Penh, and possibly exchanging some tacky presents with one another. It seemed like the recipe for a Merry Christmas, a good thing for a Grinch like me.

So there we were, sitting on a boat, approaching the Cambodian border. The tour guide came around to collect everyone’s passports, in order to arrange visas for all. He takes mine, looks at it, and returns it with no problems.

Then, he takes Elvina’s and things start to go down hill.

Elvina: Yeah, yeah, yeah, so nice time in Ho Chi Minh City. Now, all of that seems a blur of tourist sites and being hassled by peddlers on the street. But fast forward to sitting on the “fast boat” to the Vietnam/Cambodia border. Glen has already set the stage.

The tour guide flips through my passport and I can see on his face something is not quite right. He looks at me and says, “You don’t have any more pages.” I flip to the blank pages but he points at where it says “Amendments and Endorsements.” A lot of gesturing to those pages and being gestured at other pages which say “Visas” up at the top.

Blur.

“You can’t cross the border.”

Blur.

My first instinct was to cry. My second instinct was to negotiate. My first lucid thought was that I was holding Glen back from going into Cambodia.

After gathering enough composure to ask the tour guide what to do next, we learned that I had to go back to Ho Chi Minh City to get more pages from the US consulate. It just took forever and a day to get here and we were going back?? So we get dropped off at the dock, where we eat lunch. Shortly after, we head back on the same boat, then a six hour bus ride back to HCMC. The night we arrive, Vietnam had just beat Thailand in a soccer match. The streets were insane – motorbikes everywhere, people clanging on pot lids and noisemakers and waving the Vietnamese flag. We got stuck in the kind of traffic that I would never be able to drive myself out of. I felt amused by this, but mixed in with annoyance and anger at myself.

There we were, dumped off at the main backpackers’ drag and found a hotel to stay at within a few minutes. I don’t remember what happened next, I just wanted to go to bed and wake up with the problems solved.

Glen: Yeah, I didn’t leave her and go to Cambodia by myself, as tempting as that may have been.

Chapter 4 – The Ghost of Christmas Plans

Glen’s Song: “Plans” – Bloc Party
Elvina’s Song: “That Was the Worst Christmas Ever!” -- Sufjan Stevens

Elvina: (ed note: please do not make implications from this song title, as this was NOT the worst Christmas ever.) I woke up on Christmas morning, but it turns out, the aforementioned incident was not a bad dream. We started strategizing and decided we would go to the consulate tomorrow and treat ourselves a nice Christmas. We spent the day wandering around the streets of HCMC, booked a flight to Siem Reap the next day, shopped for touristy stuff, found a vegetarian restaurant (actually found a bunch so we actually had choices) and then Glen got a haircut while I got a very strange pedicure for between $1-2. We had a traditional Christmas dinner: vegetarian Indian. The restaurant even had a Christmas tree outside. The waiter asked Glen if he would like it spicy. Glen answered yes and would regret this later.

We went back to the hotel to Skype our families to say Merry Christmas. First, we decided to call the US consulate so that I could be well-prepared in the event that they required any documents or information. I went to their web site, which we had just checked the day before. It said on the calendar of federal holidays that it was closed on Thursday, December 25 for Christmas. Sure, straightforward enough. Well, okay, tonight, looking on the page for their 24-hour serviced phone number, it had a special note saying that the consulate was closed also on Friday, December 26. That meant, given the weekend, we couldn’t get to the consulate until Monday.

Glen: Yeah, we really should have read that note about it being closed on the 26^th, but I guess we figured that our luck was due to turn around by then.

So yet again, we were forced to make a plan in a hurry. In planning for this trip, we looked into a number of places, particularly in Vietnam, to go to, but did not think that we had enough time. Well, apparently we had a few more days to kill in Vietnam, so no point in standing still! We decided to go to Hoi Ann, since it seems like such a cool old place to go. But we had a few things to take care of first, namely the flight to Siem Reap booked for later that day.

We went to one of the many travel agents doting the streets of Ho Chi Minh City, and were able to change our flight to the 29^th with relatively little hassle. Now, we just wanted to find a way to Hoi Ann. We figured a bus or train would be the best alternative, but we forgot one of the cardinal rules of traveling in Asia, distances can be deceiving.

While Hoi Ann looks close to Ho Chi Minh City on a map, Asian road and rail networks are nowhere near as developed as their Western counterparts, and it would take over 12 hours by train, and around 20 hours by bus to get there. This really would not have given us enough time to see the city at all.

So we did something that I you would never be able to do in the West. We went to the travel agent, and asked about flights to Danang (the nearest airport to Hoi Ann) that were leaving that day. He said that there was a flight going at 3:30pm. We looked at our watches, and noted that it was in fact noon. Surely, they could not sell a plan ticket to a foreigner with such little time, could they?

There was little time to ask them about the security concerns, so we said that we would take it. However, the only seats left were in Business Class. Sure it increased the cost, but it was still not that expensive, given that it was a forty-minute flight.

The travel agent, then called us a cab, and before you could say “Random Security Screening” we were in the Business Class lounge at the Saigon Airport.

Elvina: It all seems like a blur but in the course of one day (probably an extremely busy day at malls back home) we had changed a plane ticket, bought a new one, had lunch, and flew to another city for dinner. Speaking of dinner, we walked into a hole-in-the-wall place simply because it advertised vegetarian dishes. Upon sitting down, we quickly realized the lack of menus, save for a little piece of paper stuck the wall with less than 10 items. We used our limited Vietnamese menu knowledge to figure out what was what. We pointed, and got food. Pretty simple.

Walking around Danang was not much to write about. Yes, it was night time by then, but it is a dark and quiet little town, without much going on. We just slept off the surreal day and woke up early to go to Hoi An. It took a bit of searching to find the bus station. In the end, we never found it but some locals told us to just wait by the side of the road and they’d show us which bus to flag down. So we ended up paying way more than any locals, sitting in the back row of this very sketchy city bus, which we thought we’d fall out of every time the back door opened. The saving grace was meeting a nice Estonian guy who was traveling to Hoi An as well.

Glen: It should be worth noting at this point, that Elvina got sick. Nothing major, just the side effects of moving around crowded Asia so much. But we did have to make a quick (and painless) trip to the doctors. I mention this for one reason: had this been on any other trip, this would have been the biggest concern and downer, but not us.

Anyway, after getting very lost, we eventually found a guesthouse and enjoyed Hoi Ann. Really, it is a fabulous city, and well worth a visit for anyone who plans on going through Vietnam. After a great two days there, we hopped back on a flight and returned to Ho Chi Minh City, once more.

Chapter 5 – Panic on the Streets of Saigon

Glen’s Song: “I Predict a Riot” – Kaiser Chiefs
Elvina’s Song: “Bang” – Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Glen: Remember back in Chapter 2, Elvina said that the streets were crazy after Vietnam defeated Thailand in soccer? Well the night that we landed in Ho Chi Minh once more, they won again, moving them one step closer to the World Cup. So the streets were even more insane.

No, scratch that, the streets were absolutely bonkers with excitement.

As we hopped in a cab and drove to our hotel, people everywhere were cheering, flags were being hung from the many (MANY) motorcycles going all around us. Every intersection was like a mosh pit, as people everywhere were reveling in nationalistic fervour. Say what you will about how much athletes get paid, and how the purity of sports has been lost somewhere between all of the Coca-Cola Sponsors, but there is little that has the power to get people together more than a good sporting event.

After about 40 minutes of slow rides, and fast riots, things started to kick up a notch. We got to one of the main roundabouts in the city, and there was a whole mob of sports fans there. Flags were being waved all over the place. When people noticed me (the token white guy) in the car, they started to cheer at me and give me the thumbs up, all well and good I thought. Then things got a bit more out of control.

First people started pounding on the car in some sort of a game. Then, someone jumped on the back of the taxi to wave his flag from a higher point; a few people jumping on the hood of the car to cheer followed this. While I found the joy enticing at first, I was starting to get a little scared at this point.

To his credit, our driver calmly opened the door, and got the guys off of the hood. A few voices of reason emerged from the cheering masses, as some total strangers helped escort our car out of the crowd and on to safety.

We got to our hotel, and probably paid too much for too little, but at that point we did not care. We certainly had no plans to go outside, and all we needed to do was get to the Consulate the next morning, and be on our merry way.

Elvina: I really loved Hoi An, and considered it a bonus at this point. I might even like to go back at some point. But, Glen summarized all of it quite well so I’ll leave it at that and just move on to the good stuff.

Chapter 5 – Lucky at Last

Glen’s Song: “Lucky Day in Hell” - The Eels
Elvina’s Song: “Beautiful Day” – U2

Elvina: I woke up on Monday morning rarin’ to go. I remember we both said, “Today is the day!” That is actually quite funny because I woke up on the Friday we began the trip thinking the same thought. We got out of the hotel, with the only priority of finding a bite to eat before we were onwards to the consulate.

We found the consulate without any problems, but Glen couldn’t go inside since he didn’t bring his passport. He headed to a coffee shop type place across the street. As I entered through security, I felt a strange sense of relief, as cliché as it sounds. The whole experience was oddly American-centric but also very Asian as well.

Upon entry, you are greeted by a sign that points immigrants, visitors, etc, to the left or right. American Citizens, it says in bold letters go straight ahead to a big scary iron gate.

I go up to take a number, as the sign says to do. I see that blank forms are along the back wall so I pick up the appropriate one and complete it. Just as I finish and look up to see how far they are away from my number, I see a sign that says:

Go directly to window 3 for any of the following:

1. Additional visa pages in your passport.

I didn’t need to read any further. I went immediately, as directed. No one was there and I tried to make my presence a bit more known. A woman came by and I asked if I was at the right place to submit this form, which I held up. She looked at the form, my passport, and disappeared. I waited. Another woman came over and asked if she could help me. I told her that I was waiting for my passport from the previous woman. She said, “Oh it will take about…” In my mind, I heard her say “… two week.” In reality, she said, “… half an hour.” Gleefully surprised and relieved, I asked her if I’d need a receipt to claim my passport later. Oddly enough, there wasn’t. And, there was no charge for this service. I go across the street to join Glen for a glass of fruit juice. Soon, I have my new thick passport in hand! We go back to the hotel to get our stuff and we are on the bus to the airport we know so well.

Glen: We finally made it into Cambodia, and it was fantastic. Angkor is completely mind blowing, and Phnom Penh is completely soul sapping. Just what we were after.

Things in Cambodia were fantastic, as our luck really got turned around. I guess we had to go through a bit of karmic overdraft, but things worked out in the end.

So I guess if we could impart some advice to anyone out there it would be the following three things:

1. Carefully read all plane tickets

2. Know how many pages you have left in your passport at all times

3. Never, and I mean NEVER travel in a country when they are playing important soccer games.

Hopefully you can learn from our mistakes!

Until next time,

G

Looking Back at My Crystal Ball

Well it's that time of year where I look back at my most daring of predictions that I made back at the start of the year. After doing fairly well predicting 2007 with a 9-2-2 record, I can only hope that the spirits were as kind to me this time around...

1. Obama vs. Huckabee - Well I was half right!!!! To be honest, when I made this prediction, I thought that I would be half right, but I couldn't quite figure out which half. Needless to say, I am still a little shocked at Obama's amazing rise from obscurity to celebrity. Gotta say, good on me for this one :)

I'll call it a tie...

Glen's Prediction Record: 0-0-1

2. Prolonged Strike - In reference to the Hollywood writer's strike said "I would be shocked if this is over by spring time.", and well, it was over by spring time, colour me shocked. I'll count this one as a loss.

Glen's Prediction Record: 0-1-1

3. Abrams will not Disappoint - Uhhh...did you see Cloverfield? Also, how awesome was the finale of Lost? I have high hopes for Season 5!!!

Glen's Prediction Record: 1-1-1


4. Score one more for California - Yes, I foolishly predicted that a team from Califronia would claim the Stanley Cup, and funnily enough, I thought that my Ottawa Senators had the best chance of ruining my prediction. Needless to say with both Anaheim and Ottawa winning a combined 2 games in the playoffs, and the Sharks bowing out the next round, I was wrong on that one.

Stupid Red Wings...

Glen's Prediction Record: 1-2-1

5. Another Three Countries Scratched off the List - Heck yes!!!! I sure was right on this one, or will be by next week. Back in March, I went to Laos, in October I got to Malaysia, and next week, for Christmas Holidays, I will be in Cambodia. Looks like I am up to .500!!!

Glen's Prediction Record: 2-2-1

6. The Temperature Will Continue To Rise - Yeah, an easy prediction, global temperatures continue to rise, what a surprise.

Glen's Prediction Record: 3-2-1

7. Another Conservative Minority - Perhaps truer words have never been spoken by me than "...I wouldn't be at all surprised if there were another Canadian Federal election, I just don't see much coming about it."

That was almost as obvious as the temperature thing...

Glen's Prediction Record: 4-2-1

8. More Record Label Rebellions - Hells yeah!!!! A free album by Nine Inch Nails proves me right again. While it wasn't as well-publicized, or even in the same artistic league as In Rainbows, it was still a coup against the record labels. Hopefully we have much more to follow from this.

Glen's Prediction Record: 5-2-1

9. The Patriots will Lose - As January rolled on I was really starting to doubt myself on this one, but in the end when I said "I don't know why I think this, but I have this sneaking suspicion that the New England Patriots will NOT win the Superbowl, making their 16-0 season completely worthless." I was so right, and I couldn't be happier about it.

Glen's Prediction Record: 6-2-1

10. Samoa Joe will FINALLY win the TNA World Title - March proved me right here!!! Thankfully TNA got their heads out of their asses and gave Joe the big belt. Sadly, they really messed up with it once they gave it to him. Ahh well, at least this Main Event Mafia thing is going alright. Hopefully he'll get it again soon, and they can do something great with him.

Glen's Prediction Record: 7-2-1

11. Further Republican Misdoings - Yeah, another easy prediction. The Republicans are a bunch of screw-ups right now. I don't know which ones to event point out, but the idea of investigating which Democrats are pro-America is a good place to start. Perhaps we can finish with any of Palin's bizare witch hunts or Trooper scandals.

Glen's Prediction Record: 8-2-1

12. Someone will Follow in Feist's Footsteps - Not sure I was right on this one. While there have been some breakout musicians in 2008, few can even hold a candle to Feist's massive iPod related explosion last year. What a shame...

Glen's Prediction Record: 8-3-1

13. I will have a great year - Hells yeah!!! I had a great time teaching in Canada, and now I'm in China. Thigns have been busy but pretty great over here, so no complaints!!!

Glen's Prediction Record: 9-3-1

Well not quite as solid as my record from last year, but pretty close. Tune back for my predictions for 2009! Also, while you're here. Due to my time constraints, and my plan to go on a trip next week, I will be holding off on my 2008 in review series until the New Year, it should coincide with yet another new look to the blog to debut in 2009. I hope that you enjoy it.

Until next time,

G

Christmas Shopping List

Well it is officially December, and as much as I hate to admit it, I need to start shopping. After making a list last year (And even delivering some of them!), I decided to post my shopping list here on my blog, lord knows I would find a way to lose it anyway.

So for Christmas in 2008, I would like to give...

...a taste of his own medicine...to Prime Minister (for now) Stephen Harper. After running his own party, and his own country with an iron fist for far too long, things seem to be unraveling for the leader of the Conservative Party of Canada. He lucked out with Dion's trepidation during the last Parliament, and thought that he would get another free pass. I just do not see how trying to remove opposition party subsidies, and get a surplus in the face of a recession. Also, after writing a letter to the Governor General in 2004, asking her to consider allowing him to form the government after Martin's government was falling, really makes any of his points of a "power grab" by the opposition moot. But I suppose one can never expect him to remain consistent.

...Chinese Democracy...well maybe not the album, since I am pretty indifferent about the snippets I have heard over here (it is rather banned). However, I would like to give people the results of an experiment in Democracy in China as chronicled by the PBS documentary Please Vote for Me.



Although, it seemed to work when I did it back in 2007.

...maybe I'll just stick to the album, it's easier to wrap after all.



...a non-violent resolution...to protests in Bangkok. There is some rather scary stuff going on down there, as (coupled with attacks in Mumbai) it appears that South Asia is a much more volatile region than it was not so long ago. This is exceptionally terrifying for someone who has booked a flight into Bangkok at the end of January.

...untold riches and unquestioned subservience...to our future squid overlords! Check out this video of a squid found 2.5 kilometres underwater. Oddly, it looks like it has elbows, and I don't know for certain what it is doing when it's head is flapping, but I can only assume that it controlling our minds somehow.



...some justice...for everyone who voted for Proposition 8 in California. Part of me hopes that you know it is like to have rights taken away from you for no good reason other than hate. But I know that if I gave into that anger, then I would be at your same level.

Love is never wrong, and homosexual marriage has nothing to do with you. Listen to The Beatles man, and just let it be.

...decisions...made by people who have been teasing me with the Arrested Development movie for the past year and a bit. I want this movie, and I want it now!!! Make it happen, come on!!!

...this song...to all who haven't heard it. Yeah, I gave a song last year, but I like this tradition. This year I present you with "Imitosis" by Andrew Bird.



...direction...for my Ottawa Senators. What a rough, rough year this has been for my team. They need to blow up and start over again, and it pains me so much.

...the new Harry Potter trailer...for anyone who hasn't seen it, it's just plain awesome.




Hells yeah, Quiddich is back!!!

...co-operation...between Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton, as the Democratic Primary's runner up was officially named Secretary of State. Hopefully these two are able to disagree enough to keep things interesting, but able to work things out. The "Team of Rivals" is a great idea, and goes a long way to restoring partisan divides, but it does have a lot of potential to stop things from getting done. I just hope that Hilary will not try to steal the show too much.

...a happy holiday...for all who read this message. If you stumbled across this, or have been reading my blog since the beginning, I hope that you have a great, and safe holiday season.

Until next time,

G